Superbowl lessons

Here’s what I learned while watching the Superbowl last night (besides the fact that if and when the world’s power goes out, we are all going to be babbling fools):

1. Soldiers and farmers deserve our admiration and respect.

2. Modesty and decency will get you nowhere.

3. A man’s courage and coolness increase exponentially based on the speed of his car.

4. Men in general behave like children.

5. Goats in general are smarter than men.

6. Women want a cellphone that matches her skin tone.

7. Little boys want only to be an astronaut.

8. Little girls want only to be a princess.

9. Being top-dog, whether you’re 6 or 60, is what matters most.

10. In the end, it’s all about sex. And beer.

I learned this while watching the game with my faithful, smart, wise husband of 27 years.

I learned this while sipping on a tall diet A&W.

I learned this while reminiscing about my humble, gracious, giving grandparents.

Today I am learning how to clear my head of all the things I learned last night because, except for the thing about soldiers and farmers, it was all a bunch of rot.



7 thoughts on “Superbowl lessons

  1. erwin jacobsen February 4, 2013 / 4:25 pm

    thanks…this was good…but you can’t help but liking the budwieser clydesale commercial as well…would/could that be filed under the ‘farm?’    

    • ckirgiss February 4, 2013 / 4:32 pm

      No doubt. The baby horse was breathtaking. Which I suppose was the whole point: “Drink our brand – we own cute baby horses that will make you cry.” And yes – let’s file it under ‘farm’ – that seems like the best fit.

  2. Priscilla February 4, 2013 / 5:19 pm

    Can I add Oreos under farmers as well? After all, they are a fabulous food like substance, and I learned keeping quiet in the library is just good manners, and Oreos can help us all whisper a little better.

    • ckirgiss February 4, 2013 / 6:21 pm

      Ah, yes. I heard about that one but didn’t see it. No way could a commercial about Oreos AND libraries be anything but awesome. (Well – I suppose there is a way, if advertisers were dead set on ruining absolutely everything good in life.)

  3. Lisa Harker February 4, 2013 / 10:25 pm

    I somehow stumbled on a website today where one could watch every single SB commercial and then vote thumbs up or thumbs down. You’ll be pleased to know, as I was, that the Clydesdale Horse and Paul Harvey Farmer commercials came in #1 and #2 with over 90% thumbs up votes. Even better, the disgusting Godaddy commercial was coming in last with only a 19% rating.

  4. ckirgiss February 4, 2013 / 10:40 pm

    It’s just sad to me that 1) someone thought up that commercial in the first place, 2) someone then thought making that commercial was a good idea, 3) someone further thought people would enjoy and appreciate it, and 3) …that’s pretty much it. #1 just depresses me. It really does. #2 just stymies me. Entirely. Does someone not have a family or at least KNOW a family? Does someone not have a sense of personal decorum? Does someone not think? (“Thinking up” the commercial does not qualify as “thinking.”) But to be fair, there were plenty of other commercials whose underlying message was much worse. And in some ways, those might have been worse because they were likely viewed with less disdain and more acceptance.

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