Here’s what I learned while watching the Superbowl last night (besides the fact that if and when the world’s power goes out, we are all going to be babbling fools):
1. Soldiers and farmers deserve our admiration and respect.
2. Modesty and decency will get you nowhere.
3. A man’s courage and coolness increase exponentially based on the speed of his car.
4. Men in general behave like children.
5. Goats in general are smarter than men.
6. Women want a cellphone that matches her skin tone.
7. Little boys want only to be an astronaut.
8. Little girls want only to be a princess.
9. Being top-dog, whether you’re 6 or 60, is what matters most.
10. In the end, it’s all about sex. And beer.
I learned this while watching the game with my faithful, smart, wise husband of 27 years.
I learned this while sipping on a tall diet A&W.
I learned this while reminiscing about my humble, gracious, giving grandparents.
Today I am learning how to clear my head of all the things I learned last night because, except for the thing about soldiers and farmers, it was all a bunch of rot.